Looking Forward to My Rest

The Lord has brought so many wonderful people in my life over the years. One of them is a beautiful woman named Brenda Grier-Miller. The Lord brought her into my life during my college years. One of the many things she taught me is to be mindful of my language. Instead of saying that she was tired, she would always say in her smooth, sweet voice instead, "I'm looking forward to my rest."

After several months of traveling, doing what I absolutely LOVE and am grateful to do, my body is telling me that it is looking forward to our rest. This Christmas break will be just what I need to rest and be renewed for the new year. Thank you for all of your prayers this season. I can feel their sustenance. :-)

Blankets, Oatmeal and a Good Book

I've been on Mandisa's Christmas tour for the last several weeks, and it occurs to me that I've not shared as much about it with you as I'd like. I MUST tell you about this regular experience on a tour bus. Shout out to my homie, Laura Cooksey, who showed me the ropes concerning all-things-tour-bus.

First of all, it's freezing! Apparently, "a cold bus is a healthy bus," but I can't always tell! I know the cold kills germs, but I'd like a little coziness sometimes. ;-) So, I bring my thick, black blanket along to capture all of the heat and keep me warm.

Another cozy item I bring along is my ziploc container of oatmeal. I generally eat oatmeal everyday for breakfast, and I don't see why having breakfast on a tour bus should change that. I bring along my cinnamon and agave nectar and work it out!

Now, if you ever find yourself on a tour bus, pray that you're on it with amazing people. I am, and it makes all of the difference. Conversation with Mandisa and her crew is hilarious and thought-provoking. I love these folks. :-) There comes a time, though, when no one will feel like talking, and there's no need to take it personally. I just turn to my trusty third item--a good book. Now, I personally prefer a good one by C. S. Lewis. He has very creative ways of reminding us about Christian truths that I truly can't get enough of. I just cozy on up in my book and enjoy a good read.

That's my tour bus experience in a nutshell. :-)

Women of Faith Update

I just wanted to give you a quick update on the happenings of Women of Faith as they concern me. I have gratefully accepted an invitation to be on the Imagine Tour Worship Team again, and I am excited to visit new cities on the East coast in 2011 with the wonderful ladies I'm blessed to be on a team with.

Also, the worship team is working hard in the studio right now to provide another worship cd. It's really fun! We and our producer, Chance Scoggins, are working tirelessly to capture the spirit of the event digitally in the studio. I can't wait for you all to hear all of the fun stuff Women of Faith is planning! Be prepared to hear some GREAT songs. ;-)

Taking It and Running with It

If you've been reading my blog, then you know that I did Beth Moore's Daniel study with the women at my church. I'm currently on a tour bus with Mandisa and the rest of her band, and I thought I'd reread all of Daniel with my newly gained knowledge and perspective.

I read chapter two again, and I was reminded about the dream God gave King Nebudchadnezzar about the kingdoms of the earth--Nebudchadnezzar's and those to come. In the dream was a physical statue representing these earthly kingdoms; and Nebudchadnezzar's was represented as the gold head of the body.

Chapter three of Daniel begins by telling us that Nebudchadnezzar had a gold statue of himself built in the land of Babylon. I thought this was quite interesting. Where do we think he got the idea that he should be represented by gold from? He probably got it from the dream that God GAVE him. But he seemed to have missed the point. He took the idea of being a gold head and made it into a whole statue. Not only that, but he missed the point that the dream was ultimately about the Kingdom of God that would remain standing after all earthly kingdoms have been destroyed.

How many times have I done this? How many times have I taken a revelation from God and run with it in the direction that feeds my own desires and ego? How many times have I missed the point of a vision God has given me? How many times have I made the entire story about me, when it was really a story God was telling me about Himself that I was merely blessed enough to be included in? When have you taken a word from the Lord and run with it?

Towers and Beaches

I'm sitting here at the beach on our day off on
Mandisa's Christmas tour, and I'm LOVing it! Anyone who loves nature knows that it's a wonderful place to hear unexpected things from the Lord. Looking at the ocean, I'm recalling something my father said before. He said, "I imagine that when Adam looked at the ocean originally, he could see straight to the bottom." It's something that has stuck with me over the years, because I love and am fascinated with the ocean.

It started me to thinking today: Was Adam exposed to the ocean in the Garden of Eden or outside of it? I'm not sure. What I do know is that Hawaii has some of the prettiest beaches in the world right now, and I'm sure Adam wasn't quite there. Then I started to think of God's instruction to Adam and Noah--be fruitful and multiply. God wanted them to literally fill this big earth that He made for us.

I learned a couple of months ago that God's destruction of the Tower of Babel wasn't just about people trying to reach Heaven; but it was also about people NOT spreading out and filling the earth like He had told them to. The Bible actually says that the people's intentions were to "make themselves famous and keep from being scattered all over the world. (NLT)" God's confusing their language succeeded in scattering them, as was His original plan.

Cut to today when we love to travel and enjoy the beauty of this earth in different locations. I think as people we are so afraid of not having the sustenance and wonder of today, tomorrow. When, really, God's sustenance and wonders of tomorrow are far greater than what we can manipulate and store up today.

We almost missed out on the most beautiful places in the world by building the Tower of Babel. What towers are you building today?

Imagine Tour Wrap-Up

Many of you know that I'm a member of the Women of Faith worship team on the Imagine tour.  We had fourteen dates this year, generally on the West coast.  In 2011, we'll be on the East coast.

Let me tell you that I had a BLAST!!!  The women that are a part of the Women of Faith team are phenomenal! And not only that, but everyone that is a part of the crew makes it into a family that anyone would be grateful to be a part of.

To be able to stand on a stage in an arena and minister to thousands of women at a time with women who have become dear to my heart is a privilege for which I am grateful.  I am missing that portion of the experience while we prepare in this season for our tour next year.  But every part of my experience with Women of Faith has been ordered by God; it still gives me chills to know He loves me this much!  :-)

Tightrope Walking

I don't think I remember having ever gone to a circus.  My close friends laugh at me for my lack of memory of certain past events, so I may have actually gone to one at some point.  I don't remember it, though.  Somehow, I still have images of tightrope walkers that I can easily pull on.  I've probably seen it on television at some point (I am an avid tv watcher).  My guess is that you have similar images of tightrope walkers that you can pull on as well.  

In life, people often talk about trying to find balance.  Maybe you're a science nerd and you call it "equilibrium.'' (I'm not judging.  :-))  Either way, as humans, much of life is about learning how to balance this and that of different categories.  *whispering suddenly* I'm learning a secret to balance that I'm willing to share.  I'm convinced that the Lord either plans for or redeems every image we see to teach us more about Him, His love for us, and how our relationship with Him is intended to be.  Some keys to balance can be found in the image of the tightrope walker.

If you notice, one who walks a tightrope does not look down constantly.  They HAVE to largely look ahead.  Looking ahead is what gives them perspective in their movement.  That perspective tells them how to distribute their weight against the rope.  We are to look to our Lord for His perspective.  It's the only perspective that will teach you properly to distribute the "weight" of life.  

Tightrope walkers also usually have their arms outstretched.  Now, you can interpret this as being outstretched to God or people, but I don't think one can be outstretched to God without also being willing to reach out to His people.  When Jesus was asked what the greatest commandment was, he answered that it was to love God with all your heart, mind, and strength AND to love your neighbor as you love yourself.  Because of that, I believe they go hand-in-hand. 

Finally, tightrope walkers also only have the option of putting one foot in front of the other--one at a time.  If they try to cover too much ground at once, they will surely lose their balance.  If there is one thing most humans have difficulty with, it's taking one step at a time.  I'm not saying that we shouldn't plan ahead.  As a matter of fact, we should!  But we can only take one step at a time in reality.  See, we tend to be so addicted to stability and predictability because we would like to not have to trust God for those things.  But at the end of the day, we can't provide it for ourselves, no matter how hard we try.

Noticing the tools God gives us is one thing, but I'm working on walking this one out in every facet of life.  Anyone else?

Healing aches

Oh my goodness! I injured my knee in a spinning class (stationary biking) in June, and it still has not yet fully recovered.  It is so annoying!  I was basically going too far in the gym in the summer, and my biking form was wrong.  I've been back-and-forth to the doctor numerous times in the last several months.  I'm grateful that I didn't tear anything in my knee, but I have had to severely diminish the intensity of my workouts in order to allow it to heal. Boo-hoo.

Now, the doctor has given me certain activities that I am allowed to do in working out, as long as I take it slowly.  I've been trying to do them, and I realized something about injuries.  They hurt to heal!  I guess I should have assumed this from previous injuries that weren't so severe, but it occurred to me recently while doing with my knee what the doctor told me is actually healthy to do.

I've always operated under the assumption that pain is an indicator of something wrong (science nerd), which it often is.  But pain is also included in any healing process I can think of--even in very healthy healing processes.  A scab forming one a child's knee is sore/painful.  Perhaps that's why we call them "sores."  An injured and minimally-used knee will certainly ache when it is starting to be used again.   And a broken bone set in a cast will surely ache as the body literally stitches itself back together.

I don't know what kind of pain you may be going through.  Maybe your pain is an indication of something wrong that the Lord wants to bring to your attention.  Then again, your pain may be a part of the aches that come with the Lord stitching something broken in you back together.  Whatever your pain is indicating, trust that your life and your heart are in the hands of the Great Physician who built you from scratch.  Who else knows you down to the true marrow of who you are and are intended to be?

Math Nerd Coming Through

Ok, this is where I shamelessly admit that I enjoy math. In fact, my husband and I may or may not have met in a very math and science-filled setting. ;-) With that, there are some concepts the Lord teaches me about Himself through math concepts. It's really nerdy, but true.

I've mentioned in previous posts that I'm doing the Beth Moore Daniel study with the woman's group at my church, and it is PHENOMENAL! The overarching theme of God's sovereignty and His thorough plan for mankind is shining through this study so potently.

The study today highlighted the timeline of the earth that God not only planned and put in place, but He also shared parts of that plan with Daniel through the visions he received in the second half of the Book of Daniel. A lot of what was prophecy for Daniel is now history for us. Pretty cool stuff.

Right after leaving the study, the Lord impressed upon me how attentive He is to the details in my life. It made me think: How in the world does He manage the overarching timeline of the earth as well as the tiny timeline that is my life?! And not only that, but He manages the tiny timelines of everyone's life.

Now this is where the math comes in. What we call the number line is just a line that gives us a visual of numbers and where they are in relation to one another. We can see that 1 comes before 2, which comes before 3. Every point, or number, on the number line is said to have an infinite number of points between it and the next point. I may have just lost you, but it just means that between the numbers 2 and 3 are the numbers 2.1, 2.11, 2.111, and so on... to infinity, but none lower than 2 and none higher than 3. This is a great picture of God managing the overall timeline of the earth (the 1's, 2's and 3's) and managing each of our lives, our overwhelmingly large number of lives in between.

He is the God that stands outside of time and moves His own plan through time brilliantly. He is the Master of the timeline.

The Permeating Jungle

If I had a dollar for every time I've heard something about a lion in the last month, I might be the youngest person to pay off their student loans. Seriously, though, I'm doing the Beth Moore study on Daniel (which means I've encountered the story of Daniel in the lions' den), and my brother, Jon, recently went on a ministry trip to Africa. Between Beth Moore's video sessions and Jon's recounting of personal lion encounters, my respect for a lion's power has been adjusted.

As children we're told that lions are the king of the jungle. And somehow, that gets translated to mean, "lions are just big, cute kitty cats." Yeah, not so much. A lion's claws are like daggers; and a lion can drag a full-grown man by his teeth. And a lion's roar? As loud and encompassing as a stereo system. With this kind of imagery, the cute kitty cat fantasy disintegrates.

Learning all of this, I started think of how Jesus compared our enemy to a roaring lion, roaming this earth to see whom he may devour. Have you ever seen a lion pacing before? That sounds really scary! But then the Lord reminded me that He IS the actual Lion of Judah! And you better believe He is bigger, stronger and wiser than the enemy. So, I have nothing to be afraid of, and neither does any believer in Jesus Christ! Isn't that Good news?!

I Still Love My Job--Check-in

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I LOVE my job as a member of the worship team with the Women of Faith conference. The other ladies on the worship team are such a joy to spend time with. And every weekend, I hear something different from the Lord through the speakers' messages.

I'm flying home from Portland, OR at this moment thinking about how blessed I am. This weekend I met up with an old friend that I taught with, and we laughed about how much our lives had changed since we taught in the Bronx. I am so grateful to be able to look back over several years and see how God's hand has been moving my life. It's one of the best feelings.

Anyway, I just wanted to express that I'm as excited about my job as I was in the beginning. God is faithful!

Flippant Repentant

This is literally a page from my journal that I wanted to share with you all. The Lord brought to my attention yesterday through my church service that I had been a bit flippant concerning some of my sins and how they broke God's heart in the past. I had been so eager to receive His grace, that I hadn't taken much time to repent properly and completely. I wept, and these were the words that came from my weeping:

Lord, thank You for Your faithfulness towards me. You love me so much that You wait years for my heart to break over how I've broken Yours. You patience is beyond measure.

You extend grace to me when my sinfulness encompasses me. You show me grace even when I snatch it like an entitled child, only concerned with my benefit.

You love me in my ignorance and patiently wait until I'm mature enough to receive more of Your Truth-all the while holding no good thing from me.

Who is like the Lord? Your kindness is beyond my understanding. Your patience is unfathomable. And Your Love-ahhh, Your Love for me is immeasurable. I only know it in it's pieces-as You express it to me. But I'm sure I would literally crumble to pieces if I but got a glimpse of it's whole right now.

Which makes sense, because You, Yourself are Love; and to see You in all Your glory right now would surely mean my end.

Great Expectations

I have a confession to make. I'm a judger. I mean, to some degree we all are, so I don't feel alone. Even still, I don't think the Lord has called me to be one. I'll tell you one of the subjects I've judged the most, though... The "name it and claim it" gospel. I know, I know. Some of you are even judging me right now. :-) But there's always redemption in what God does, if you look closely enough.

Lately God has just been cleaning out some old defense mechanisms of mine in order to make more room for me to trust Him. And I came across a huge one--changing my expectations so as to not be disappointed. You see, I HATE to be disappointed, or better yet, caught off-guard with bad news. That's really what disappointment is, isn't it? It's something happening other than what you wanted to happen, all when you didn't expect it. That has traditionally been one of the scariest feelings for me. But God isn't satisfied to leave me in my fear.

He's been showing me that He's trustworthy and that it must eventually be enough for me that nothing catches HIM off-guard. And on top of that, He's been showing me that He really has my best interest in mind. And that "best interest" includes some really cool gifts.

I've spent so much of my life and time preparing for the worst that I've missed many chances to expect wonderful things from God. Can I ask God for anything that I want and expect to receive it? I know some of you would like an answer to that. Honestly, He's still teaching me; so I'll let you know when this lesson is over. :-) I do know, though, that I've spent way too much time on the opposite end of the spectrum; and He's moving me toward a healthier equilibrium. So for now, I'll be listening to Jonathan Nelson's "Expect the Great" on repeat!

Green Life

Do you know anyone who has decided to "go green?" I don't that I'm aware of. I mean, I know people who try to not waste food and who recycle, but I've always thought that only certain people with money can actually "go green." I haven't felt the need to look into it at all. I've just always thought, "the Lord is not really calling me to that. That's a little extreme, right?..."

I confess more by saying that I'm still not certain about what the Lord is asking of me in this department; but I know that He is using it to deal with a heart issue of mine.

I was reading Isaiah 39, and I was floored. This is the chapter where the prophet Isaiah predicted the captivity of those in Jerusalem by the huge force of the nation of Babylon. This chapter begins, though, by telling of how the Jews' king, Hezekiah, invited the son of Babylon's current king (the captivity would happen a while later) into all of his treasure houses-kind of to show off all of the riches he owned. Later, these treasures would be carried off, just as the people of Jerusalem were, as belonging to Babylon.

The prophet Isaiah then prophesies of a future captivity to Hezekiah, and his response was something like, "Good. At least it won't happen while I'm alive." What a selfish thing to say! I was appalled! And then I heard the still, small voice encourage me to ask when I had responded this way in my own life.

God brought to my attention that when approached with the idea that I should go green to take care of this planet, I had flippantly responded in my heart this same way. How embarrassing. While I won't condone any kind of worshiping of the earth, I do believe the earth was a gift from the Lord to humanity that I should feel some responsibility in caring for. Though we're far from the earth that God originally intended (where spiders don't terrorize me ;-)), I don't have to lack concern or care for that which the lord has entrusted me-us.

Like I mentioned earlier, I'm not certain at this point what this looks like practically, but I must at least approach the question with a different heart. Anybody got some cool going green tips?

His Life for Weed

I was reading an article on CNN.com that was quite interesting. A Canadian man, who has apparently been selling marijuana seeds to American citizens, was recently sentenced to five years after pleading guilty to this charge. The photo that CNN chose was one with him smiling and making a peace sign. I read it intending to be entertained.

It turns out that this man donated much of the money he received to political groups committed to lobbying for marijuana to be made legal. He and his wife sincerely believe that this should be a legal right, so much so that in the wake of his imprisonment, his wife is fervently leading this movement in his absence. Then I got this picture.

Here is this man who willingly gave up his freedom for his cause, and with this act has spurred a small movement among those who believe as he does. And I thought to myself in my distant concern for this issue, what a seemingly trivial cause to sacrifice for. I mean, is the legal right to smoke marijuana worth time with your wife? Children if he has them? And look at the attention he has drawn from people who may or may not care about his cause. It made me start to think (or hear a still, small voice).

What am I willing to sacrifice my life for? And I really mean, what am I willing to sacrifice my life for tangibly. In America, being a Christian usually brings about more internal conflicts than external, but I think God is more interested in how our hearts answer this question, knowing that our actions will follow if given the chance. So, what are you willing to trade your life for?

Your Bronze is the Most Valuable

There aren't as many mentions of women and their significance in the Old Testament as there are mentions of men and their significance; so as a woman, when they show up, I like to pay attention. Sometimes, though, they show up in the most seemingly random places.

There's a passage in Exodus that is describing the making of the tabernacle (the physical structure in which God chose to interact with the Israelites). It briefly describes the making of the bronze basin that the priests were to use to wash their hands and feet. It was a very serious order that God gave concerning this basin, or sink-like structure. In fact, God said that if they didn't do this, they would die. And then out of nowhere this passage says, "He [Bezalel, the super-anointed craftsman for this task in particular] made the basin of bronze and it's stand of bronze, from the mirrors of the ministering women who ministered in the entrance of the tent of meeting [the entire structure housing the tabernacle]." First of all, I'm honestly thinking, "did they have mirrors back then?!" Then I'm flabbergasted by the fact that there were women ministering in this holy place! It makes me excited to think that God thought the bronze from their mirrors worthy enough to be used to make this cleansing basin.

These women were actually mentioned again, but in not so flattering a way. After years of the Israelites using this tabernacle that I mentioned, along with this bronze basin, there was a priest named Eli. Though Eli took his duties as a priest seriously, his sons did not. And in this case, the priesthood was passed down through the family. So, God is talking about how evil Eli's sons are, giving examples of their sins, and--here comes our mention again--he mentions how these sons of Eli have been sleeping with the women who minister at the entrance of the tent of meeting. It sounds sadly familiar. The very women deemed valuable, along with their possessions, to make a piece of furniture for the very place that would house God Himself's presence, have lowered themselves considerably.

Please take a moment to consider the weight of this. The women that God thought special lowered themselves. Those that God saw as valuable thought less of themselves.

I've been there. I've lived out of that mindset, and the lifestyle that ensues is not pretty. Thank God for His rescuing, because now I can say that God's love and redeeming power have no limit! I pray that if you're reading this and you've found yourself in the middle of a lifestyle that you know is not acceptable, you would be open to understanding your true value from the One who made you. And if you've already been delivered, I pray that you'll reach out in love to the ones around you who still need to be free.

Grabbing Some Firewood

Have you ever gone through a season where you were on FIRE for God?! I mean, you couldn't get enough of His presence or His Word. That's kind of how I've been feeling lately. Well, if you're familiar with this feeling, then you also know what it's like for this feeling to begin to wane.

It's a sad feeling, isn't it? You start to feel guilty as you spend less and less time being intentional about talking to God and studying the Bible. You start to make smaller and smaller efforts, hoping they'll "count" for something. But that's no more effective than a husband showing his wife "attention" to just be able to say that he's done it. I haven't met a wife yet that can't see that from a mile away.

Well, God is not fooled either. He wants our hearts to really burn for Him, not just go through the motions to pretend to. In the ancient tabernacle model that God had the children of Israel make, God Himself lit the fire on the altar at the entrance of this holy place; but He instructed the people to replace the wood daily so that the flame would never go out.

I'm working hard these days to keep this flame going that God Himself has lit in my heart. I'm working to gather the wood that I need everyday to ensure that the fire won't go out. What are some ways I can do this that you recommend?

Hey guys,

Just a quick note to let you know that I've been working on songwriting lately.  I'm asking for you to pray that God shares a piece of His heart with me in this season and that I hear Him clearly.  I want to make sure that I'm singing what He wants His people to hear.  Thanks for your support.

Love,
Janice

Rattlesnakes Really Are Better Than Butterflies

So, my youngest brother, Jaylon, came to visit EJ and me for a week, and the Lord had LOTS to show me. One thing that struck me in particular had to do with a souvenir from our zoo trip.

If there is any such thing as an animal connosieur, then Jaylon is it- especially when it comes to reptiles and amphibians. This guy, who is 10 years old, is the most fun kid to take to the zoo, because he educates YOU instead of the other way around. We enjoyed our zoo trip to say the least; and at the end of it, Jaylon decided he wanted a token by which to remember it.

If you know Jaylon (and I'm assuming you don't :-)), then you know that he not only loves reptiles, but he loves art. So, he chose a set of plastic butterflies to be painted from the souvenir shop as his reminder of our fun forever. It came with four colors- red, blue, yellow and green. As soon as we got home (exhausted and limping from the four hour/3.5 mile zoo path), he wanted to paint his butterflies. Well, I had been planning to take him to a pottery painting shop at the Factory (shout out to Third Coast Clay) ever since I discovered it a year before. I didn't want him to have a cheap version of what I knew he would enjoy just days before I had planned for it to happen. But since he didn't know that, he asked me more than ten times a day if he could paint those doggone butterflies.

And then I realized what God was showing me. Sometimes I get so anxious for the things that He's shown me I'm either good at or he has for me, and I want to prematurely force the way that is visible to me. Jaylon didn't trust me yet to take him to do something as cool as paint pottery. He only knew that his butterflies were right in front of him. I had to ask myself if I really trust God to do "cool" things designed especially for me in my life. These days, the Lord is encouraging me to be still and know that He is God. He says that I don't have to be anxious for ANYthing, because He has every good thing for me.

When Jaylon and I walked into the pottery painting shop, his eyes were bigger than I've ever seen them. There was one rattlesnakes left on the shelf just for him to paint. The number and shades of the available colors were many times more than were in his souvenir paint kit. His response once he realized this was why he couldn't paint the butterflies yet-"Man, now I'm salty cuz I was so impatient." Lol.

I don't want to miss or cheapen what God has for me, nor do I want to be "salty" when He shows me how impatient I've been in the wake of my TRUE blessings. What about you guys?

PS. His painted rattlesnake was pretty hot, by the way. That boy has vision!

Unexpected Mission Field

Last month I went to the eighth grade graduation of my former students in the Bronx. I can't tell you how full my heart was. I've really missed those children over the last year, and I was so excited to be able to see them and congratulate them on moving on to high school.

I also saw some of the best teachers and administrators in the world, and I'm grateful to call them my friends. I have missed these people immensely. They're the people who are ministering to children and their families each and every day without so much as an ounce of the accolades that we as musicians in ministry get. I say this not to minimize this current chapter of my life that the Lord has planned, but I must say something about the lifelong dedication of educators, especially the ones I've witnessed in action at Middle School 331 (NYC Public schools not only name their schools, but they number them, too).

I can truly say that teaching middle school was just as important a training ground for ministry in my life as seminary was. Teaching taught me to be consistent, diligent and more patient than I might want to be in stressful situations.

So, anyway, if you think about it in the next couple of days, please send up a prayer for my friends working at MS 331 who are daily loving on the kids that many people have already deemed unworthy of attention and love. Pray that they'll be rejuvenated this summer in a way that will prepare them for more work in the fall. Pray that they'll have sweet moments with their loved ones, and that all they endeavor to do this summer will be easier than normal, to kind of balance out their year. :-)

And please pray for my sweet kids that don't really get a chance to escape some of the scariest horrors of our country because many of those horrors happen on their own block. Pray that they'll be safe, but not only that. Pray that they'll be enlightened to easier times, in order for them to have hope outside of what they've seen and see regularly.

Thanks so much.